Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Fear

Child birth scares me, I'm not so sure I'm ready. I would rather speak in public than give birth. I mean I am definitely ready to not be pregnant anymore and to finally meet this boy. But with less than eight hours to go before we have to be back at the hospital I am overwhelmingly afraid of what is ahead. I am the queen of irrational fears, so I know most of it is silly stuff- but its still very hard not knowing how things will go. We were really thinking and hoping that I would go into active labor on my own by now, and we are praying that it somehow happens before 6:00am tomorrow when we have to be back at the hospital for our rescheduled induction. Hopefully the third time is the charm, I doubt they will let me leave again no matter how much I beg. If they aren't satisfied with how labor is progressing, they will most likely be doing a c-section. This is because on Saturday I will be at 42 weeks and it can be dangerous for the baby to stay in any longer than that. Having to have a c-section is pretty close to being at the top of my list of fears! I'm hesitant to go through with the induction, but at this point I'm not feeling as if we have much of a choice. I honestly feel like I have been in labor for a week, even though its early labor- all that time in the hospital and all the contractions at home have kind of worn me out. I've been fortunate to be able to be at home and get a lot of rest, but at the same time I am dreading tomorrow and just praying that it will happen quickly. Most of the time when labor is induced it progresses at a much slower pace, and if they have to start the induction tomorrow morning it's very likely that our baby's birthday will actually be August 1st. I guess little Brody just has something against the month of July! It's either that or he wants an August birthday like his Mama. I do have a big favor to ask, for those of you who believe in the power of prayer. Please be praying for us tomorrow: specifically that we would get through this without any complications, that our baby will be healthy and arrive safely, and also that I will be able to let go of all of my fears. Please pray for wisdom & good judgement for the doctors who will be making decisions for us, and for patience for the nurse who will have to deal with me. Thank you in advance!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi, Sarah! I have been checking in on you today to see how you are progressing. You are DEFINITELY in my prayers. I remember being afraid too. You are normal! I remember the imagery that I was taught by Kathy at Dr. Lickness' office. Something about picturing a flower bud opening up gradually... the very natural path that the baby is taking... and when you are picturing this it is easier for your mind to cooperate with what your body is doing. You will do fine, whatever course of action the Dr. deems necessary. I will be in prayer for wisdom for all who attend you. Can't wait to hear that Brody has arrived!! God bless you and Sean at this exciting time! I enjoyed seeing you at the lake last night!

mommaduck4 said...

I will definitely be praying for you. I understand your fear, I have been where you are. I have been induced with all 4 of my children and the last one a cesarean. With God's grace and mercy I had 4 wonderful healthy children.

I will pray for God's will in this delivery. Can't wait to meet this special little boy that God has decided to bless by having you as his mom.

Kim said...

With my first son I found out that I had a cyst on my ovary two days before his due date. They were doing an ultrasound to see how big he was, to see if I would be okay to deliver him naturally. He was fine, but my right ovary had a very large cyst. Talk about being scared! I thought I was going to die of cancer! So, I decided to have a c-section with him so that they could take the cyst out at the same time. I was REALLY REALLY scared. I hadn't planned on having a c-section at all. But I asked my husband and a member of our church for a blessing, and I got through it. Thankfully I didn't have cancer, but the cyst was the size of a cantaloupe. I did have to take longer to recover, but in the end it was God's will for me to deliver this way. With my second son I was hoping for a v-bac. In other words, to deliver naturally after a previous c-section. I waited and waited, he was a week over due and I couldn't handle it anymore!! But you know, I think God had a reason he was late too. My older son had gotten hand foot mouth disease a few days before when I was due to have the baby. And if babies come in contact with that diesease, it can be deadly. So, maybe I wasn't supposed to have him on time. I scheduled my second c-section a week after he was due, my other son was well now and everything would be okay with the health of the baby. I'm so glad that I did the c-section with him too, because he had the cord wrapped around his little neck 3 times. He probably would have died if we didn't do the c-section. I know that God had a role in that delivery too. I had a blessing before having him also, actually a lot of them! Recovering from c-sections isn't always easy, but if it's the best thing for your baby, then you don't have anything to worry about. God will be watching over you, if you have a natural delivery or c-section. Don't be scared, everything will work out and once you have your baby in your arms it will all be worth it!!

Anonymous said...

I know where you are at. I was scared as well, I think everyone is! And if you end up having a c-section it will be fine too, I went through labor but ended up having to have a c-section with both girls. I was terrified of having to do it and wanted the most natural delivery as possible but God got us through it and all that matters in the end is your healthy baby! Your in my prayers and can't wait to meet your son!!

Sandy

Anonymous said...

Hey Sarah!
Just wanted to let you know that I have been following all of the happenings this week, and you have definitely been in my prayers. You will do just fine and God definitely has things all worked out for you.

Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord..."

Romans 8:28 - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him..."

Having Abigail at 28 weeks gestation was scary, but when I put things into perspective and fully leaned on the Lord,
He brought me through a month of bedrest, a miserable day in the hospital, an emergency c-section, and 2 months of having a baby in the NICU. Our God is faithful!

Love, Amber J.