Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Child birth scares me, I'm not so sure I'm ready. I would rather speak in public than give birth. I mean I am definitely ready to not be pregnant anymore and to finally meet this boy. But with less than eight hours to go before we have to be back at the hospital I am overwhelmingly afraid of what is ahead. I am the queen of irrational fears, so I know most of it is silly stuff- but its still very hard not knowing how things will go. We were really thinking and hoping that I would go into active labor on my own by now, and we are praying that it somehow happens before 6:00am tomorrow when we have to be back at the hospital for our rescheduled induction. Hopefully the third time is the charm, I doubt they will let me leave again no matter how much I beg. If they aren't satisfied with how labor is progressing, they will most likely be doing a c-section. This is because on Saturday I will be at 42 weeks and it can be dangerous for the baby to stay in any longer than that. Having to have a c-section is pretty close to being at the top of my list of fears! I'm hesitant to go through with the induction, but at this point I'm not feeling as if we have much of a choice. I honestly feel like I have been in labor for a week, even though its early labor- all that time in the hospital and all the contractions at home have kind of worn me out. I've been fortunate to be able to be at home and get a lot of rest, but at the same time I am dreading tomorrow and just praying that it will happen quickly. Most of the time when labor is induced it progresses at a much slower pace, and if they have to start the induction tomorrow morning it's very likely that our baby's birthday will actually be August 1st. I guess little Brody just has something against the month of July! It's either that or he wants an August birthday like his Mama. I do have a big favor to ask, for those of you who believe in the power of prayer. Please be praying for us tomorrow: specifically that we would get through this without any complications, that our baby will be healthy and arrive safely, and also that I will be able to let go of all of my fears. Please pray for wisdom & good judgement for the doctors who will be making decisions for us, and for patience for the nurse who will have to deal with me. Thank you in advance!